so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
