that's an acceptable place to lick
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
