Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
