So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
