Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
