she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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