got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize