FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
