I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
