I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
