Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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