eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
