last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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