i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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