ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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