I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
third nipple confirmed
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
