I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
