im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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