No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
