Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
