Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
