Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
