Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
