If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
