Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
