They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
