So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
