and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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