I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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