you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
