Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
