You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You can't just leave with hair like that
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
