I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
