so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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