I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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