I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
