I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
