I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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