i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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