I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
