i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
my being single is dangerous.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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