dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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