he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
