Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
