If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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