They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Redeem this text for a blowjob
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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