is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
