The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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