I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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