Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My breasts were aching with rage.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
