my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize