How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
